Is this anxiety misplaced?īohns: I feel very strongly that our fears about asking are overblown. Here are excerpts of our conversation with Bohns, edited for length and clarity.Īsking for what we want can be nerve wracking. Bohns' research shows that the dynamics of requests and rejections aren't quite what we expect. For instance, in the library book study, participants thought 28% of people would agree to it, when 64% - over half - said yes. Bohns says participants consistently expect rejection, but strangers still agree to help. In her studies, she has participants ask strangers to do favors - sometimes quite odd ones, like counting beans or vandalizing library books. Bohns' research shows us that people tend to be more agreeable than we think, and that while asking for things might be hard, so is saying "no." Instead, she's curious about the influence we already have - and how we can use that influence more responsibly. But Vanessa Bohns, author of You Have More Influence Than You Think, isn't interested in how to acquire more power. There are countless books on how to become powerful and influence others.
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